The Barn

On a beautiful day, a year ago in December, I took Lucas, Addy, and Kierstyn to The Springfield Barn in Williamsport. It was sunny and warm and we spent the day looking at the Christmas trees, playing in the park, taking a horse drawn wagon ride, and eating snacks and drinking hot chocolate. I remember sitting at the picnic table and looking out at the football field and the school behind it, remembering days from my past and sharing the memories with my kids. It was such a beautiful day that none of us wanted to leave and so we took our time and enjoyed it. Before leaving I sat in the car feeding the baby and watched Lucas and Addy run through the field and roll down the hill by the pavilion. It almost sounds like a story but that day was a gift and I am truly thankful for it. That was the last day I spent taking my kids on an outing by myself. We had no idea that soon after the new year began that I would be diagnosed with brain cancer.


When my treatment began our family, friends, and community began supporting us in so many ways. It has been overwhelming to know how much we are cared for. One day, my sister in law called me and said they wanted to do a 5K in December at The Springfield Barn. We both started to cry as I told her about the day I spent there with the kids. At the time, December was a long way off and I wasn't sure of how or where I would be by then. However, this past weekend on a very cold and windy day I went to the 5K and was thankful I could be there. It is hard to express how I felt to see so many people from different aspects of my life there. This year has been a very humbling experience. Please know that while I am not able to talk with or see each one of you, I am truly grateful. You have made difficult days easier and your acts of kindness mean more to us than you'll know.  


Recently, there seems to be so many people facing heartbreaking situations. My heart has been heavy and the tears have flowed freely. Sometimes all I feel is sadness. Sometimes I forget my hope. In the past couple of weeks my cancer has been more apparent. Not that I ever forget about it but I try to not let it consume me and live life as fully as possible. I felt myself becoming more anxious about my upcoming MRI on Thursday, December 12th. Even though my scans looked very good in October this cancer can come back quickly and aggressively. As I prayed, I felt The Lord gently reminding me to remain in the present and not to focus on the unknown. I read a verse that gave me a lot of comfort.

I am counting on the Lord; yes, I am counting on him. I have put my hope in his word. (Psalms 130:5 NLT)

In Him again I found peace, a peace I do not understand and the hope that I desperately need. As we all face difficult times, I hope that you can be encouraged to know that you can count on The Lord in all things.