Follow Me
Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it. (Mark 8:34, 35 NLT)
I am awake again in the middle of the night due to being back on steroids. In the past week, I have very quickly lost most of the function I had regained on my left side. I have an MRI scheduled for this Thursday the 16th at Hopkins and I will meet with my doctor to discuss the scans. Honestly, I'm tired. It has been a physically frustrating and emotionally exhausting week and year.. I'm tired of living this way. I cry out to God because I so desperately want to hear his voice but even in the silence I know he is there. He reveals himself in other ways. The words "Follow Me" are impressed on my heart. Yes, I will continue to follow despite my doubts and fears. Jesus calls us all and sometimes the journey we are on may not seem fair and can be extremely difficult. We must make a choice. For me, I must continue to trust in Jesus the one who gives us Truth and Grace. Without those things I would be lost. Recently, we have been doing the Study, Follow by Andy Stanley. The one thing that comforted me was how Jesus calls us to Follow despite where we are. His own disciples followed him before they really knew him and despite their doubts and fears, they continued to follow him. He understood and did not turn them away, he loved them, taught them, encouraged them, and continued to meet them right where they were without judgement but compassion. I'm thankful for that because this journey has been just as much a spiritual one as a physical one. Without The Lord this journey would be impossible to bear. In him I continue to find strength. Many times I think we expect God to do things our way before we are willing to Follow Him. First, Jesus asks us to Follow and throughout the journey he reveals himself to us if we are open to him. I'm holding on so tightly to this life but I need to let go. Not that I'm giving up but there is nothing I can do but accept God's will no matter what that might be and continue on until I'm in His glorious presence where I can no longer lose my life. I find myself longing for that. There I will be complete and whole. There the uncertainty will be gone. The pain will be gone and I can rest.
Worth It All
Meredith Andrews
All I am Lord here before You
Reaching out for more
You're the promise never failing
You are my reward,
Jesus, You are my reward
I let go of all I have just to have all of You
And no matter what the cost I will follow You
Jesus everything I've lost I have found in You
When I finally reach the end I'll say
You are worth it all
There's no riches or earthly treasure
That will satisfy
Every longing is for You Jesus
Set this heart on fire
Oh, set this heart on fire
I let go of all I have just to have all of You
And no matter what the cost I will follow You
Jesus everything I've lost I have found in You
When I finally reach the end I'll say
You are worth it all
You are worth it all
When I'm there in Your glorious presence
Every knee is bowed before You
Hear the sound of heaven singing
You are worth it all
All the saints cry holy holy
Angels singing worthy worthy
Forever I will shout Your praises
You are worth it all
When I'm there in Your glorious presence
Every knee is bowed before You
Hear the sound of heaven singing
You are worth it all
All the saints cry holy holy
Angels singing worthy worthy
Forever I will shout Your praises
You are worth it all
You are worth it all
I let go of all I have just to have all of You
And no matter what the cost I will follow You
Jesus everything I've lost I have found in You
When I finally reach the end I'll say
I let go of all I have just to have all of You
And no matter what the cost I will follow You
Jesus everything I've lost I have found in You
When I finally reach the end I'll say
You are worth it all
You are worth it all
You are worth it all
Jesus you are worth it all