My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. (Psalms 73:26 NLT)
My health has failed and at times my spirit has grown weak. This has been such a difficult journey and some days are just more difficult than others. This past Thursday, we were back at Hopkins. My MRI showed that the tumor has continued to grow since the last scan I had in January. I also began my first IV chemo treatment as the first course of action. These treatments are done every 6 weeks. Thankfully, I have not had many side effects.. I've just been tired. My left side continues to be numb and so my steroid dose has been increased to try and help with my motor skills. On Thursday, while I knew I was not alone, I felt so depleted and I could not stop the tears. It was good to finally cry.and I needed the time alone. All day I prayed for the strength to keep going. As, we quietly drove home, Josh and I found peace in the indescribable beauty of the sunset. It was so magnificent and comforting you could not look away from it. The radiant glow of the sun illuminating the clouds brought hope and strengthened our hearts.
The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship. Day after day they continue to speak; night after night they make him known. They speak without a sound or word; their voice is never heard. Yet their message has gone throughout the earth, and their words to all the world. God has made a home in the heavens for the sun. (Psalms 19:1-4 NLT)
Without a sound or a word our spirits were renewed and refreshed in an unexpected way and I was very thankful for that. God displayed His glory and showed us His love through His beautiful creation.
Sunday, March 2 is Josh's birthday. I am so thankful for him. He is not only my husband but my best friend and he has honored the vows we made to each other so many years ago. In sickness and in health, he has been by my side. He has chosen to walk this difficult road with me and not turn his back on his family. He continues to work so hard for us and even when he is exhausted he continues to serve us and others. I'm truly thankful for his example of faith to our children and me. God knew we needed each other and I'm so thankful that we worked through the difficult times in our marriage which strengthened us for a time like this. We are walking this journey together with our God at the center. We are relying on His strength and trusting everything to Him.
Josh, you are so very special to me. I respect you and admire you more than you know. Dear, thank you for loving me and never giving up on me. You have made me a better person and I love you. I hope you have a wonderful birthday and lucky for you, I don't ever remember how old you are so the whole world won't know!